The only thing you can have too much of in this island is quite simple – farewells.
You get to know someone, they make you smile, you like them, you start hanging around every day in the shop, on the boat, underwater, on your free time and in your busy time. Eventually that person is a constant in your days and you grow to love them too much in too little time.
That would be absolutely fine if it wasn’t for the fact that nobody stays in the island forever (besides instructors, hence the lack of attachment from them to all of us). After a few months, I’ve already had to say goodbye to people I wish they stayed around. First it was Shaun, my buddy fundiving, sitting at the front of the boat and laughing at the bar in the evening. After that, a whole bunch of DMT’s finished and left in the same week leaving us quite alone (Emma, Johnny, Tom, Mark, Marko, Josh and Louis).
Yesterday, it was Adam. He was the first one to trust me and leave me alone underwater with a fundiver. He was the one that we all went to whenever we needed anything. He was also the person I’ve laughed the most with, to the point of ending up crying and with my cheekbones hurting. He was the closest DM to all of the DMT’s and the one we all looked for when it was time to go out at night and do something fun. He had been here for 8 months and none of us was expecting him to go anywhere any time soon. But in this life shit happens… and wars also happen. That is a lot of shit and almost impossible to imagine when you are living in Koh Tao. But it’s real and that’s where Adam’s gone – to some kind of probably stupid and racist war in Israel as a paramedic.
It has been two days and he is still only in Bangkok, but I already wish he never left. The shop is even emptier, even if we have new people who are just starting their DMT’s. It’s just not the same. I walked in this morning after the boat and I felt kind of lost because Adam wasn’t there to listen to the amazing stories of Chumphon and White Rock. It was the weirdest thing… like when a dog has lost his owner and has no clue where to go. I wanted to tell him about the hundreds of barracuda (everywhere!), about the school of batfish, the dancing shrimps, the filefish and more than anything else I wanted to tell him about the spastic grouper that almost slapped James in the face with its giant tail. However, no one knows when will be the next time I get to speak about diving with him.
Now, I’m saying I don’t wanna get attached to anybody else, but I already know it will be impossible. Someone else will walk in and start brightening my days with laughter and that will be another farewell to add to the list. It’s like the never ending story.
I don’t even wanna think about myself leaving the island and saying too many goodbyes at once…